A true story of domestic abuse, as recorded at the time and how it was survived. You can watch some of the recordings on YouTube

For those fortunate enough never to have been abused, forget the stereo-type of a man hitting a woman. Yes, this does happen but it is by no means the most common type of abuse - just the easiest to prove.

The Office for National Statistics quotes a third of the victims as male - advanced research puts it at over 50%, by asking questions differently. In either case, something you will never hear from misandric Women's Aid or UK government officials, too scared of being labelled misogynistic.

Think about this. If you see a female verbally abusing a female do you think it is dreadful or funny? "He's getting a right ear bashing." If you see a male doing exactly the same to a female, even word for word, do you think it is dreadful or funny? Chances are you think it is dreadful and maybe you even go to help her. Why the difference? Psychologically it is exactly the same. Both cases are abuse.

Yes, the male may be physically stronger but do you really think that helps him? If he hits her, he will be labelled the abuser. If she hits him, she can just say he started it and he will be labelled the abuser or just told to 'man up'.

People think:
"He must have done something really bad" or "She's only a woman." Female abusers know this and, even those who don't consider themselves abusive, know they can get away with shouting, even hitting because such behaviour has become normalised in society, with the normalised mistaken notion the man can look after himself.

On a desert island, with no social or official imbalances against the male defending themselves, this might be true but even this notion is ignorant to the way abuse operates.

Regardless of gender, the abuser mostly has some kind of narcissistic traits, while the victim mostly has some kind of co-dependent traits. I see this all the time in my work as a therapist.

Regular physical abuse, despite the headlines, is far less common than coercive or psychological abuse. Belittling words repeatedly hammered into victims' heads to make them feel even lower than they already do:

"You're an Idiot.",
"You're stupid.",
"You have no talent.", "Nobody will love you except me.",
"Nobody will listen to you.",
"Nobody will believe you.", "You'rte lucky to have me.",
"Everybody thinks you're stupid.",
"Everybody hates you.", and so it goes on.

Even though the victim knows none of this is true, the continual repetition of it seeps into their minds and pools there. This of it like water seeping through chalk into a cavern and pooling there. Logical knowledge of the actual reality, especially when there is nobody there to support it - victims are psychologically and even physically isolated from family and friends - the repetitive belittlings begin to take over. Begin to become the new 'truth'.

Children are often weaponised.
"Do as I say or you'll never see the kids again.",
"Call the police and I'll tell them you abuse us, and you'll never see the kids again."

How many victims have lost their kids due to false accusations? How many who lose their kids are males? Most of them.

Direct murders do happen more to female victims by males. Indirect murders, including suicide, happen more to males - 3 times more than females.

There is a far bigger picture to domestic abuse than one-sided views given by mainstream media and government policy acknowledge.

Why do the likes of Andrew Tate get listened to by so many males? Because so many males have grown up being actively disempowered by the abuse of Womens' Aid style misandric narrative: 'males hate females' so 'males should be punished'.

'Violence against Women and Girls' is the only anti-abuse mantra we hear. What about violence against men and boys? According to the ONS, males are 2.8 times more likely to be murdered than females.

You don't hear Women's Aid making an outcry against Lucy Letby, who murdered seven babies and tried to murder many more, or the males or children driven to addictions or suicide because of parental alienation or impossible to survive financial settlements.

It is no surprise that increasing numbers of males, feeling increasingly put down by the misandric mantras, now follow the push-back teachings of the likes of Andrew Tate? He may end up in prison but others will take his place. Abuse begets abuse.

If we had a gender neutral, fair and balanced approached against all forms of abuse, there would be no ears for the likes of Andrew Tate and no blinkered support for female abusers.

In many countries females are massively discriminated against and treated as second class citizens, just look at Iran, but not in the UK.

Until the Womens Aid narrative gets held to account for the active hatred of males it is, the 'them and us' divide will only get wider and nastier. Both extremes are wrong.

Did you know the charity Refuge, went against their founder, Erin Pizzey, for daring to declare her observation that females can be just as abusive as males?

Out now on Amazon